8/11/15

When You Don't Know What To Write

Today's post will be one of those where I break all the blogging "rules". There won't be a pinnable image, you won't learn anything, or be inspired or encouraged. No today I have nothing specific to write about. Only the need to just sit and write.

I'm feeling very tired and weary. I have struggled so much this summer with getting things together (although we are slowly starting to get back on track and for that I am thankful). I just don't have much in me lately. I just feel so tired and unmotivated. I told my husband I wish I could take a weekend trip alone and just sleep in a big comfy bed and not get up to do anything.

The past several years have been somewhat stressful and emotionally taxing. Ending friendships, leaving my church home, having a contractor rip our house apart and leave with a big chunk of our money, my beloved dog dying (he was my 3rd kid), having to go to another state for 7 1/2 months to care for my mother in law and during that time only getting to see my husband every other weekend (he still had to work) and learning to homeschool my children in the middle of doctor appointments and hospital trips, being diagnosed with PCOS, under going a D&C, being diagnosed with Hashimoto's, my kids starting a new school, started working as a sub, started blogging, getting mastitis (and not even nursing how unfair is that ha), then bam its summer.

I'm just so dang tired. I'm beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel from the whirlwind season we have been in, but still the effects linger.

I have learned so much in this season though. Especially about myself. My eyes have been opened to some many things. The Lord has definitely been growing and changing me and pulling back the fake exterior I had been presenting to the world and showing me the girl that He created me to be.

I'm learning to prioritize, tackle things in bite size chunks, and learning what my best yes is. I'm seeing who my true friends are and those that love me for me. I'm connecting on a new deeper level with my husband and my kids, and stepping out of my comfort zone to experience new things. I have a huge fear of failure so I never would try to do things (anything really) because I didn't want to mess up.

I'm still tired. I am still worn and weary, but I'm finding that each day it gets a little better.

5 comments:

  1. These kinds of times are tough. I'm so sorry.

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  2. We are soul sisters! I WISH we lived closer. You just described my past three years of struggle and searching. I am giving you a virtual hug and high five!!! I know this isn't your normal writing but if it helps you process then do it!! I just started writing more for me as well and it has been humbling and therapeutic.

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  3. We are soul sisters! I WISH we lived closer. You just described my past three years of struggle and searching. I am giving you a virtual hug and high five!!! I know this isn't your normal writing but if it helps you process then do it!! I just started writing more for me as well and it has been humbling and therapeutic.

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  4. Sending you big hugs. That's a LOT to deal with. Sometimes we have nothing to give, we just need to receive. I hope you get a little R&R and that writing your true feelings helps you to deal with them better. It always does for me. xo

    Esther
    The Cuteness

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  5. I will be praying! When I was in dark/tired places, I looked to the light. Check out James 1:2-4 and Romans 5:5-8

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