5/8/15

Bummed About Mother's Day

Sunday is Mother's Day. Every where you look there are ads promoting Mother's Day. There are constant commercials with cute kids telling why they love their mother. Quite frankly it bums me out because I don't feel like I'm any of the adjectives used for mothers.

Patient--ha

Selfless--I try to talk my kids out of the last piece of cake

Kind--I can be kind but I can also be unkind



The list goes on. My kids will beam during some of these commercials and list why their mom is the greatest, but I have a very hard time believing it. I don't feel like any of those things. I feel like I constantly mess up and fail them and I'm so worried that one day they will look back with their kid blinders off and see where I messed up.

I know I can't be perfect and even if I never messed up I'd still pass on some type of dysfunction but the fear that one day they will wake up and realize how much I suck at this mom thing and they'll resent me.

So I'm sitting here thinking about these things and bummed about Mother's Day and feel like I really don't deserve this special day.

I think my focus is in the wrong place though. Maybe I need to quit thinking so hard about where I fail and focus on the fact that I get to be mom to these two awesome kiddos. I got to carry them inside me. I got to feel their little kicks. I got to hold them on my chest while they slept and hear their first words. I got to see their first steps and first days of school.

I think mothering may be less about our abilities and more about just watching these little ones grow into the people they are meant to be. We get to do life with them. I get a front row seat to these two individuals, growing into these unique and wonderful people.

Mothering is less about me and my abilities and more about the people who gave me the title mom. Mothering can be found in the moments of laughing with my kids, serenading them in the car, and cheering for their ball games. Its not about my qualities or qualifications. Its not about the guilt I feel after hiding with the bowl of brownie batter so I don't have to share it.

Its about the moments and memories that we create while they are with me. They may look back over our time and hold grudges for things I did or didn't do, but I've just got to do the best I can and love them the best I can. You don't get a users manual when you become a parent. You figure it out along the way. There will be bumps and there will be delays and detours but I just have to do the best I can and trust that the Lord holds them in His palm. He has a path and plan for my kids and this messed up mom of theirs is a part of His plan. He will use me to mold them and shape them in spite of my own imperfections.

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms that don't feel worthy!

6 comments:

  1. Such an honest post! As long as you're doing the best you can, you're doing great :)

    Elle
    Southern Elle Style

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  2. Moms are only human too! No mom is perfect. That's a guarantee. This is a great post.
    And I'm now following via GFC. =0)

    Happy Mother's Day!!!

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  3. We see all the ways we fail, but our kids are resilient and they tend to forgive and forget easily. Enjoy your day and celebrate all the great things you get to experience as a mom.

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  4. Great post, Christina! Don't be so hard on yourself, though...we're all doing the best we can!

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  5. I'm not a mother and to be honest I'm frightened to take on the challenge! I recently had a similar talk with my best friend and she stated if you are not scared about screwing up your kids you probably aren't parenting correctly. I like your quote "I think mothering may be less about our abilities and more about just watching these little ones grow into the people they are meant to be", very well said.

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