Be Daring

Today I had one of those rare grand moments. Nothing spectacular inspired it, it just seemed to occur. I saw myself today. I mean my real self. Layers suddenly seemed to vanish and the girl I have been searching for just somehow appeared.

If I could go to college, I'd study English. The ability to be properly educated in books and writing makes my heart swoon. Unfortunately we can't afford for me to get a degree. If I did go back to school one of my children probably wouldn't be able to go to college and that is a thought I couldn't bare. I could never be the reason they couldn't chase a dream.

Instead if will spend my days reading books and poetry and plays. I will watch movies that move me. I will write down my thoughts.

I want to inspire my children to be thinkers and doers. To ask why and seek answers. I want them to be unique. I don't want them to conform to the world around them. I don't even want them to grow up to be the people I think they should be. I want them to flow against the current and be world shakers.

I want them to see themselves. They're original selves.

Especially when it comes to Jesus. I don't my relationship with Christ or theirs be based on the fact that "it's the right thing to do". No, I want them to have a burning passion for Jesus. I don't want it to be because I shoved the Bible down there throat and taught them all the right things to say and do. I want them to be the unique individuals He created them to be and love Him with an all consuming love.

Today I vow to quit living by the world's standard (yes even the Christian world) and march to the beat to my own drum. I want to live. I want to express the creation that I am. I don't want to watch or follow, I want to live. I want to be weird and quirky. I want to be gracious and passionate. I want to look around and have the ability to see things from a different perspective. I want to read books and dance to music.

And when I draw my last breaths I want know that I seized every moment that I could. I want to love my family deeply. I want to keep dreaming big thoughts. I want my life to be extraordinary even during the ordinary moments.


  1. I'm in your spot somewhat, only have my undergrad degree. My issue is that I can't go to grad school without risking my daughter being able to get a degree. You know what though? There's a lot of education available for free at the public library. We can do that :) Moreover, if you have questions, maybe you can write to an authority in the field and ask. Sometimes we just have to blow the doors before us open with dynamite! Great post!